


Raise a Glass

by astraplain



Series: Kurtoberfest [8]
Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 05:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8237978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astraplain/pseuds/astraplain
Summary: Rachel’s buys collectibles, Kurt loses sleep





	

“… and I know it was an extravagance but, Kurt I just couldn’t resist!” With a flourish, Rachel unveiled her treasures.

“You bought glasses.” Kurt leaned in closer to examine what indeed were two ordinary water glasses, identical to the ones he’d personally arranged on the craft services table prior to Vogue.com’s latest photo shoot.

“Don’t touch!” Rachel placed herself between him and her new treasure, hands held protectively over the glasses. “They’re collectible.”

“They’re glasses,” Kurt repeated, backing away slowly. When Rachel was in one of her moods it was best not to make any sudden moves.

“Of course they are.” Rachel turned to admire her new purchases, hand hovering barely over the rim of the glass on the left. “It’s not the 'what' but the 'who' that’s important.”

“The who?” Kurt suppressed a deep sigh and readied himself for another ride on Rachel’s crazy train. “Are you going to make me guess?”

“Of course not. You’d never manage it anyway. Not in a million years.” She picked up the glass on the right and presented it with an air of great sacrifice. “I was thinking of you when I got this one, you know. You could be more grateful.” Kurt accepted the offering, holding it like it might explode. Satisfied, Rachel turned and picked up the remaining glass.

“I thought they were ordinary too, at first. I barely even noticed them right there beside the box of playbills. I thought I’d find something to build my collection but the selection was disappointing, so I asked the woman if she had anything special. She gave me a look like she was studying me so I gave her my best smile and I knew I’d won her over.” Rachel was getting into her story now, complete with hand motions that made Kurt fear for her ‘collectible’ glass. “I can’t believe no one else realized how special these are.”

“Maybe they weren’t thirsty?” Kurt suggested knowing she was too wrapped up in her story to hear him.

“So…” she tapped Kurt’s glass before displaying her own. “Of course the Mary Martin glass had to be mine, but Pavarotti’s is perfect for you, because of your dead bird and everything. Isn’t it wonderful?”

“You’re telling me this is Pavarotti’s water glass?” Kurt held it up slightly, and frowned at it. “He owned it?”

“Well no, silly, I’m sure he and Mary had much better taste than this. No, they were at the same banquet and these…” she let out a little squeal of excitement “… are their glasses.”

“From a….” Kurt stopped himself. He’d had variations of this conversation with Rachel many times and it never ended well for him. Plastering on a smile, he set the glass down carefully and gave Rachel a hug. Regardless of the crazy, her heart was in the right place. “Thank you.”

“Aww,” Rachel hugged him back before pulling away and regarding him seriously. “Now these will need the right kind of display case to protect them, so leave them here on the counter and I’ll check online tomorrow. There’s got to be something appropriate.”

“Okay,” Kurt nodded and stepped back, giving the glasses one last look before escaping to his room.

+++++++

The sound of someone strangling a cat startled Kurt out of a sound sleep. Barely conscious he jumped out of bed and raced toward the sound, only to stop short when it led to a frantic Rachel Berry.

“O Solo Mio,” she croaked, her voice going from deep to high, cracking along the way. She motioned to him frantically, then clutched her throat. The out-of-tune song continued, screeching and breaking to the welcome end.

“What happened?” he asked when she fell, gasping, into a chair. She pointed with great dramatic flair to the half-full glass on the counter.

“You drank from one of those glasses?” He winced when she cleared her throat raspily and nodded.

“I was thirsty and half-asleep.” Rachel choked out in a strangled whisper, followed by a louder and very indignant, “That was not Pavarotti.”

“Definitely not,” Kurt agreed. He was quite sure it wasn’t Mary Martin either. More to the point, it hadn’t been Rachel, which meant…

“Demon water!” Rachel shrilled, shoving the glass away. “I’ve been possessed by… ” She flailed for a moment before gripping Kurt’s shirt and hauling him close so he could see every nuance of her panic. “… a…banker or a.. What if it’s a taxidermist?” She let Kurt go suddenly and he had to grab the counter to keep from losing his balance. Rachel went rampaging through the apartment wondering how she’d ever manage to live with stuffed animal heads on the walls.

Kurt took a deep breath and let it out before calmly going to the cupboard and taking out the bottle of vodka left over from an Apple gathering. He took a swallow himself before carrying the bottle to the counter where he emptied Rachel’s collectible Pavarotti glass and poured enough to cover the bottom.

“Drink,” he insisted when she finished her rant.

“Ew.” She saw the bottle in his hand and pushed the glass away.

“Drink,” Kurt pushed the glass at her more insistently. As soon as she took it, Kurt poured an equal measure of vodka in the other glass and picked it up. He held his out with a flourish and they clinked glasses before downing the mouthful of liquid.

“Yuck,” she complained as she set the glass down. “I hate vodka.”

“Let’s hope the taxidermist hates it too,” Kurt said, waiting for her to catch on. It took her a moment, but she finally let out a little 'oh!’ and cleared her throat. Giving Kurt a stage smile, she began to sing.

It was a little raspy, but it was definitely Barbra by way of Rachel Berry. Just to be sure, or because Kurt was watching and she loved an audience, Rachel sang the entire song.

“Can I go back to bed now?” Kurt asked. It was far too early for any of this. When he was coherent later today, he was tossing those glasses in a dumpster.

“No! Rachel insisted, clutching at his arm. "Get dressed, Now. Go.” She all but shoved him toward his room, but Kurt wasn’t moving until he had an explanation. 

“Are you kidding?” Rachel said, “We have to go back to the flea market and get more glasses. You ruined the other glass before we could try it. Who knows who else might have been at that banquet.”

“Fine,” Kurt said, bowing to the inevitable, “but I’m calling Adam. We’re going to need a lot more vodka.“

::end::


End file.
